To All the Potters I've Loved Before
by WeasleyWannabee
Summary: AU. Lily is sick of Severus trying to win back her friendship. Will pretending to date James Potter get him to stay away? Inspired by "To All the Boys I've Loved Before."


"Lily."

She did her best to repress a shudder at the sound of Severus's voice. Hoping in vain that he'd leave her alone if she simply ignored him, she continued to sort through the books in her bag, pulling out the ones she needed for her first class.

"Come on, Lily, will you at least look at me?"

Grinding her teeth at the desperation in his voice, Lily zipped up her bag and started to walk away. Predictably, Severus followed.

" _Lily_ —" he tried again.

"No, Sev," Lily interrupted coldly, "I can't look at you—I can barely stand to speak to you."

"I'm sorry for what I said, all right? You know I didn't mean it, it was just because Potter—"

Lily cut him off again. "You didn't mean to call me a dirty slag in front of half the school? Well, that's a relief," she snapped. "And don't try to blame this on Potter. He was just doing what he always does, acting like a prat to see if it gets a reaction. I don't know why you can't just ignore him like the rest of us."

Surprisingly, he was smart enough not to answer the implied question. Instead, he tried a different approach. "Right, you're allowed to be angry, but—"

"Oh, I'm allowed?" Lily asked, voice climbing sharply on the last word so that several of the other students in the hallway turned to look at her. Lowering her voice, but not releasing the bitter sarcasm from it, she continued, "Thank you for your permission."

Unable to hide his frustration any longer, Severus permitted his own voice to rise angrily. "What am I supposed to say?"

Facing him at last, Lily smiled humorlessly. "You've already said everything I needed to hear. I'm just sorry it took me this long to hear it."

And without letting him get another word out, Lily stepped into her classroom, leaving Severus glaring after her.

It wasn't the last time he tried to waylay her to explain himself, as though everything between them could be repaired by a simple apology. He even went so far as to attempt to get a message to Lily through one of her Chemistry classmates, Mary Macdonald. To her credit, Mary looked appropriately apologetic when she caught Lily after class, even offering to walk with her to lunch in case Severus was waiting to intercept her.

"No, I'm all right Mary, thanks," Lily said, cheeks flushing involuntarily. It was bad enough that the incident had spread throughout the school; she didn't need everyone thinking it had completely robbed her of her ability to stand up for herself. She was certain that if she kept hidden how much Severus's words had upset her, the entire debacle would soon fade from people's minds.

Her resolve faltered slightly when she found that Severus was, indeed, lurking outside of the cafeteria, scanning the crowd purposefully. Before Lily had time to regret her rejection of Mary's offer, however, James Potter appeared beside her.

"Well, if it isn't Lily Evans," he said, grinning down at her from his considerable height advantage.

"Well, if it isn't James Potter," Lily parroted. "Why, were you expecting someone else?"

James stepped swiftly around to her other side just as they passed Severus, and Lily fleetingly wondered if he did this intentionally, as though to present a physical barrier between her and Sev. "I never know what to expect with you," James said, distracting Lily from her thoughts. "For instance, you've worn your hair up for the past three days—I know this because I sit behind you in History, and the back of your head is much more interesting that whatever Binns is droning on about—but today you have it down."

Unable to help it, Lily laughed at this inane observation. "Yes, I am an enigma," she agreed.

"Oh, don't I know it," James said seriously. "But I'll sort you out one of these days, have no doubt."

"Please let me know when you do—I haven't been able to manage it, myself."

With a dutiful salute, James veered away from her with a cheerful, "Have an enlightened lunch, Evans."

"That doesn't make sense!" Lily called after him, but he just waved at her over his shoulder without turning around.

Shaking her head, Lily continued on to the table where her two best mates, Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes, were sitting.

"What are you grinning about?" Marlene asked.

Realizing that she did still have a small smile on her lips, Lily hurriedly rearranged her expression. "Nothing," she said, dropping her book bag beside her chair.

This seemed to satisfy her friend, who turned back to Dorcas to continue their discussion of the dreaded ten-page essay they'd been assigned in English Lit that morning. Meanwhile, Lily found her gaze wandering back towards James as she chewed her sandwich thoughtfully. Severus had apparently not dared come up to her with James nearby; she was almost certain the same would not have been true had she been accompanied by Mary.

As she speculated on how long Severus could continue to avoid her around James before his patience wore out, an idea began to form. It was an absurd and undoubtedly daft idea, but Lily found herself unable to shake it for the rest of the day.

After school let out, and before she could lose her nerve or rationalize her way out of it, she marched directly to the football pitch to find James. He was stretching on the sidelines, chatting with his teammates, but when Lily called his name he came trotting straight over.

"Evans, you're not lost are you? You do realize this is where we muck about with a ball for a couple of hours, right?"

Lily dismissed his teasing with a wave of her hand. "I think we should date," she said abruptly. James's eyebrows shot up, his jaw slackening slightly, though whether as a precursor to speech or simply in shock, Lily didn't wait to find out. "Not _actually_ , that would be a mess, but I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend."

Now, James's brows met in a frown. Then, with a shake of his head, he confessed, "You've lost me."

Blowing out a breath, Lily gathered her thoughts before beginning again. "I'm asking for your help—and it would only be for a few weeks—but I think if we made it convincing enough, it might …" And here she paused, before blurting out in a rush without looking at James, "It might cause Severus to actually leave me alone."

Silence was her only answer. When she risked a peek at James, he was frowning again, this time in concern. "Are you sure that's the best … I mean, I'm not going to try to tell you how you should react to what he did, but … are you sure?" he repeated.

Lily wasn't sure at all, but she nodded firmly anyway. "I am." She bit her lip, realizing fully for the first time what she was asking of him. "Do you think I'm completely mad?"

James grinned. "Well, yeah, 'course I do, Evans, but not solely because of this." He winked at her. "But a fake relationship sounds like it can only lead to entertaining mishaps, so you can count me in."

Relief flooded Lily's face. "Thank you, James," she said, touching his arm briefly. Just then a whistle sounded and James glanced over his shoulder. His teammates were spreading out on the field to start practice.

"I'd better get going," he said.

"We can lay down some of the ground rules tomorrow," Lily called after him as he began to jog towards the pitch.

Switching directions so that he was running backwards, James protested, "You know I hate rules, Evans."

"No you don't, you just don't follow them because you think it makes you seem cooler!"

James's laughter followed her as she started back up the hill to the school.

"Good morning, my love," James greeted her with a wicked grin the following morning just outside the front doors to the school.

Lily stopped dead in her tracks with a firm shake of her head. "Rule number one: keep the terms of endearment to a minimum."

James pretended to look put out. "Fine. Evans it is, then."

"Or, you know, 'Lily' works too," Lily said with an amused smile.

"Mmm, I think I'll reserve 'Lily' for very serious situations."

"You're never serious."

"Did I hear my name?" Sirius Black, one of James's best mates, came up beside them, followed closely by the third member of their group, Remus Lupin. "Ah, Evans," Sirius said with an approving nod. "Heard the good news. My sincerest congratulations. I honestly don't think you could have done better for a fake boyfriend—yours truly excluded, of course."

Lily rounded on James with an exasperated look. "You told them already? We're not going to fool anyone if _they_ know the truth!"

"I'll have you know that I am an excellent secret keeper," Sirius said, putting on an insulted air.

"And I promise to keep him in line," Remus added with a reassuring smile.

In all honesty, Lily hadn't really expected James to put up a front with his two best mates; she was sure the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. "All right, all right," she conceded. "But I know who to blame if our cover is blown."

Sirius waved off her threat. "You worry too much."

"And we're late too much," Remus said, checking his watch. "Come on, class starts in five minutes."

"Calm down, Moony, McGonagall isn't going to give us detention just for being a few minutes late—she loves us."

"I'm not sure your logic is sound," Remus muttered as he led the way into the building.

But Lily remained where she was, feeling suddenly nervous about walking into school with James. He grinned at her hesitation, holding out a hand to her. "Coming, Evans?" With a nod, Lily took his offered hand. James gave hers a little squeeze, whispering, "It'll be fine," as he opened the door.

He was right, of course, and Lily soon felt silly for imagining it would be like some teenage romance film where everyone stared at the male and female lead as they walked down the halls hand in hand for the first time. In reality, only a few students even glanced at them in their rush to get to class.

"So," James said presently, "what are the other rules?"

Lily shot him a reluctant smile. "Well, in true James Potter fashion, you've already broken one of them—don't let anyone else in on the secret."

"Excellent, glad to see I'm off to a promising start."

"Right … along with no cute nicknames, I'm also instating a no excessive public displays of affection rule—so no snogging, things like that."

James raised his eyebrows. "No snogging? You sure know how to take the fun out of things, Evans."

Lily poked him in the side with her free hand. "You can't really believe snogging is the only reason to be in a relationship."

"You have to admit it's certainly a nice benefit. But all right, I'll do my best to restrain myself when the powerful urge to kiss you arises." He flashed her his most charming smile.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it will be difficult," she said dryly. "And finally, last rule is that either of us reserves the right to introduce additional rules as we go."

"Very comprehensive, Evans," James said briskly. "But I'd have expected nothing less."

They both stopped, having reached Lily's English Lit classroom. "See you after class," James said, and before Lily could quite comprehend what was happening, he leaned in to kiss her swiftly on the cheek. Straightening, he grinned proudly at her, as though he'd gotten away with something. "Was that acceptable?"

Doing her best to bite down on the smile that threatened to escape her, Lily nodded. "Yes, that was acceptable. See you after class."

When she sat down at her desk, a scrap of paper fluttered to the floor beside her. Frowning, Lily picked it up and unfolded it, only to find a note in James's hurried script: _Hope your day is as great as you! – J_.

He must have slipped it into one of her books when he kissed her. Realizing she was grinning widely, Lily admonished herself for getting caught up in their own charade so quickly. She should be glad James was playing his part so well, and nothing more. Lily opened her notebook and took out a pen, shoving the note into her bag and out of sight, determined not to let any further thoughts of James distract her for the rest of the morning.

Though she'd anticipated—with much trepidation—the initial encounter with Severus after her fictitious relationship with James began, it was James who noticed him first on their way to History. Lily looked up in surprise when he switched from holding her hand to wrapping an arm around her shoulders, becoming even more confused at his somber expression, so strange in a face normally lit up by a grin. "Just ignore him," he said softly yet determinedly.

This, naturally, only made Lily look around for the "him" in question, realizing too late who James must mean. Her breath caught at the unadulterated hatred in Severus's eyes, though it was not directed at her. Instead, his gaze tracked James in a calculated way that made Lily shiver. James squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, but before Lily could say anything, she heard Marlene's voice ring out from the other end of the hallway.

"What. The. Hell."

Both Lily's and James's attention swung immediately to the blonde, Lily panicking slightly as she realized she'd been so preoccupied with how Severus would react that she hadn't considered how she would explain her relationship with James to her friends.

Marlene pushed through the crowded hall towards them, a stunned-looking Dorcas close behind. "Lily. Explain. Now."

"You've reduced her to one-word sentences, Evans," James teased, raising his eyebrows slightly when Lily looked at him, as though questioning whether to drop the façade.

With a slight shake of her head, Lily turned back to Marlene. "We're together," she said, deciding that simpler was better.

Marlene's expression, previously astonished and slightly aggravated, transformed to pure delight in a matter of seconds. "I _knew_ it!" she announced, rounding on Doracs. "Pay up, Dorky."

Dorcas glared, both at Marlene's demand for money and her use of the dreaded nickname. "I can't believe I was almost an entire year off," she grumbled.

"Sorry, but what's happening?" Lily asked, brows knit.

"We've had a bet going since year ten about when you two would get together," Dorcas admitted grudgingly, pushing away Marlene's hand as she thrust it demandingly into her face.

James snickered, and Lily only just resisted the urge to elbow him in the ribs.

"I need _details_ , woman," Marlene said to Lily, finally giving up on Dorcas making good on their bet.

"Er …" Lily said, trying not to look guilty. Thankfully, the bell for class rang just then, saving her from having to invent anything further. "Later," she promised, grabbing James's hand and practically dragging him away from a protesting Marlene.

She breathed a sigh of relief as they rounded the corner, glancing up to find James eyeing her with amusement. "Don't look so smug, Potter. This whole thing was my idea in the first place."

"Yes it was," he said cheerily. "And I've thought of a new rule, by the way."

"First time you've ever said that," Lily muttered.

Ignoring this, James continued, "You have to come to my football matches. And to the party at Sirius's next Friday."

"I'd rather not," Lily said, though she knew her protests would be fruitless. They entered their History classroom and took their usual seats in the middle row.

"I know," James said patiently, dropping his book bag to the floor, "but that's what you do in a relationship, support each other's interests and all that."

Lily turned around in her seat to face him, resting her arms on the back of her chair. "I'm not sure a party qualifies."

"Oh yes," James nodded, "I'm very interested in parties, Evans."

Lily made one last attempt, lowering her voice and glancing around to be sure no one was listening in to their conversation. "We're not actually in a relationship, though."

James leaned closer, quieting his tone as well. "If we want to make this look convincing _without snogging_ , then you have to at least show up to things with me."

He had a point, she supposed. "All right," she said with a sigh. "But promise me we'll leave as soon as it gets terrible."

"It won't get terrible." At Lily's skeptical look, he relented. "Fine, just say the word and we'll be out of there." He touched her nose briefly, and Lily automatically wrinkled it in response. "You're lucky you're cute, Evans, because I won't hear the end of it from Sirius for leaving a party early."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Lily said, disregarding the way her stomach swooped when he called her cute. "Why does it matter when you leave, or if you even come at all? You're free to do as you please, and he should respect your decision."

James laughed, amused by her adamant tone. "I'll be sure to tell him that next Friday."

When classes let out for the day on Thursday, Lily found James waiting for her outside of the school. "Ready?" he asked as Lily approached.

She halted, immediately apprehensive. "For what?" she said slowly.

James smirked. "You're so suspicious of me, Evans, can't you believe that I always have your best interests at heart?"

"No," Lily answered immediately, which only caused James's grin to widen.

"It's time for me to meet your mother. Well, meet her again—I think she helped out in our class back in primary school."

"What do you mean, 'it's time'? We've only been 'dating,'" she put air quotes around the word, "for three days."

"Yes," James said in the same patient tone he'd used earlier. Lily was beginning to detest that tone. "So we're still well within the beginning stages where we want to spend every minute together. Which means going to each other's houses after school,"

The hint of a smirk still lingering around his lips made Lily scowl. "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

To her surprise, James's cheeks reddened. Could it be that James Potter actually felt ashamed for once? "Enjoying what?"

"Annoying me on purpose, because I'm the one who picked you for my fake boyfriend and you know I'm too prideful to admit it was a poor decision."

James didn't respond right away, a strange expression on his face that Lily couldn't read. "You know we can call this off at any time, right?"

"I know," Lily said quietly, and without adding anything further she took his hand and began to lead the way to the tube station nearest the school.

They didn't speak much on the way to the flat Lily shared with her mother. Her father had left when she and her sister were young, and with her sister leaving for university the previous summer, it was just Lily and her mum these days. Knowing that James came from a much wealthier family, Lily couldn't suppress a stab of embarrassment as she opened the door to their small living space. She didn't have much time to fixate on this, however, as her mother called out her name from the kitchen.

Lily had most been dreading lying to her mother about James, and as though he could sense this, James dropped her hand on their way to the kitchen, trailing a few steps behind her instead. Still, her mother reacted with some surprise as he followed Lily into the room.

"Is that James Potter?" she asked, breaking into a pleased smile that made Lily sigh inwardly. "I haven't seen you since you were a little boy—my, haven't you grown into a handsome young man!"

"Good to see you again, Mrs. Evans," James said, taking her mother's flattery in stride. Lily studiously avoided eye contact with him, her face growing redder with each word her mother spoke.

"Please, call me Celeste. I'm afraid that I'm just on my way to work, but feel free to make yourself at home. Lily can show you where everything is. See you later tonight, love," she added to Lily, raising her eyebrows and smiling appreciatively at her daughter as she passed. Lily wished she could disappear through the floor.

"I take it you haven't told her yet, either?" James said as the door shut behind Celeste.

"No, I'm going to do my best to avoid that conversation," Lily said decisively. "Ever since my sister left for university mum's become strangely overprotective of me, and I'd rather not learn how she'd react to the idea of me suddenly having a boyfriend."

"Seems like she'd approve of it …" Lily glared at his entertained expression. "I get it, though, the protective mum thing," James assured her. "'Course, with the number of times Sirius and I should have been arrested by now, mine may have legitimate reason to worry."

Lily nodded, feeling momentarily ashamed at having forgotten James was raised by a single mother too—though unlike hers, his father had passed away when they were in primary school. "So," she said briskly to cover her discomfort, "being at my house on a school night mostly means homework. Hope you're all right with that. And despite my mother trying to speak for me, I am going to let you fend for yourself if you want a snack or anything, because I have seen you eat and I'm not risking full access to our food."

"Sounds fair," James said, moving through the kitchen and into the main living area beyond. Kicking off his shoes at the edge of the carpet, he flopped down on the solitary couch, giving every appearance of taking Celeste up on her invitation to make himself at home. Lily tried to ignore the sudden and very strong sense that he belonged there, joining him on the couch and pulling out her books and notebooks. When she glanced over at James, who was doing the same, she burst out laughing.

"Oh my _god_ , Potter, what is _that_?" she demanded, pointing at the notebook he was currently holding. Along with several doodles of footballs, her initials were scrawled in embellished letters in each corner.

"What?" James said defensively, though his cheeks flushed all the same. "You said to make it look convincing!"

"All that does," Lily waved at the doodling, "is convince me that you're a twelve-year-old girl."

James's affronted expression only made Lily giggle again. "Okay," he said, snatching up one of Lily's notebooks, "if you're going to poke fun, Evans, then this is happening."

He grabbed a pen and jumped up from the couch, Lily in close pursuit. "What are you writing? Potter—give it to me!" Her attempts to take the notebook back were futile, of course; James merely had to hold it at a higher angle to bring it completely out of her reach.

Now chuckling himself at Lily's frustrated growl, James twisted away from her one last time as he finished writing with a flourish. "There," he said, thrusting the notebook triumphantly at her.

 _Mrs. James Potter_ was written prominently at the top in a disturbingly credible imitation of Lily's handwriting, complete with little hearts at either end. Lily gaped at him. "You are so dead for that, Potter," she warned, lunging for him.

James just escaped her grasp, laughing as she chased him around the small dining table and practically tackled him back onto the couch, seizing the nearest pillow and hitting him repeatedly in the chest with it. At last James managed to knock the pillow out of Lily's hands, grabbing her wrists at the same time to prevent her from getting hold of another one. His glasses had fallen completely askew, his dark hair even more of a mess than usual. They stared at each other for a long moment, James still with a mischievous glint in his eyes, both slightly out of breath. Then, realizing she was basically straddling him, Lily hastily pulled her hands away and moved back to the other side of the couch, tucking the blouse of her uniform back into her skirt.

"I am burning that notebook," she said sternly to distract herself from her suddenly rapid pulse.

"That's a lie, I know you would never burn school notes," James replied, coming off unfairly unflustered in comparison.

He wasn't wrong, but Lily still shoved the notebook under her dropped pillow in partial defiance. "Less talking, more school work."

"Hang on, can I ask you something?"

Her heart leaped into her throat. Hoping her voice wouldn't betray her, she said, "What is it?"

"I …" James seemed uncharacteristically uncomfortable, not meeting her eye.

 _Oh god_ , Lily thought, _is he going to say_ —

"Do you blame me?"

The question throwing her completely off guard, Lily could only blink at him. "Blame you?"

James squinted at his knees, appearing fully absorbed by a stain on his trousers. "For that day, with Snape. I _was_ being a prick—as usual, I guess—but I never thought he'd … do what he did."

Only a few days ago, Lily would have immediately answered yes. But now, seeing how James was desperately trying to act as though her answer was of no consequence, which merely succeeded in convincing her he cared deeply about her opinion of him, gave her pause. Besides, he'd been the one she'd gone to for help with the very situation he was describing. That had to mean something. "No," she said finally, and almost smiled at the way he visibly relaxed. "I think that, deep down, you are one of the good ones." She allowed a smile. "You just have trouble showing it."

James nodded, eyes searching hers in a way that made Lily clench her toes to keep from squirming. "I should work on that."

"Mmm," Lily agreed. "You should."

She returned her attention at last to her books, unaware that James continued to watch her thoughtfully. When he eventually shifted his attention, it wasn't to his own school work; instead, with another glance at Lily, he carefully pried her notebook out from under the pillow with his foot. Picking it up, he began turning the 'a' in 'James' into a heart, the barest hint of a grin on his face.

It was remarkable and a little unnerving to Lily how easily she became accustomed to the routine of pretending to date James. They met in front of the school every morning, at times joined by their friends, but most often just the two of them. James met her between classes—Lily suspected he invented excuses to leave early, or simply did it anyway, because he was always waiting in the hallway when class let out—and passed her notes in History. Some were funny: _I think Binns just fell asleep in the middle of his sentence; Remus and I have a bet going on the number of times Fenwick interrupts class to argue with Binns, care to throw your lot in?_ Others were sweet: _You look pretty today; Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to have such a brilliant girlfriend_. It was these notes that made Lily very glad James sat in behind her so he couldn't see her blush. She knew he merely found it entertaining to be part of such an elaborate ruse—and who didn't need something distracting to pass the time in History?—but Lily couldn't stop herself from wondering whether he'd act the same way if they were actually dating.

This inevitably led to thoughts of how long they could keep up the deception, or how long she could reasonably ask James to help her in this way. Because amazingly, it _was_ working to keep Severus from harassing her at every opportunity. In truth, Lily hadn't expected him to give up so easily, and his conspicuous absence put her slightly on edge; perhaps he was simply waiting for a chance to corner her away from James.

Lily didn't voice any of these concerns to James. She wasn't about to give him an excuse to go after Severus—he wasn't worth it.

The day of Sirius's party arrived, and despite everything in her that rebelled against it, Lily found herself walking up the path to the very large Black family home with James that evening.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Sirius said when he greeted them at the door, taking Lily by the arm and ushering her down the impressive entryway, flanked on either side with expensive-looking works of art in ornate gold frames and complete with an elaborate crystal chandelier overhead. "Everyone is already drunk, so you two have some catching up to do," he announced. "Drinks are in that next room," he gestured to their right, where Lily could just make out an array of bottles of varying sizes and colors arranged on a table, "and should you overindulge at any point, toilets are . . . somewhere nearby, plus plenty more upstairs, probably."

Lily gave him an odd look. "You don't know? Don't you live here?"

"Only when I can't avoid it," Sirius said brightly. "You kids have fun now, I've got to make the rounds to be sure no one has passed out in the fountain."

"Fountain?" Lily asked, turning to James as Sirius moved away, whistling.

"Out back," James said. "Honestly, the grounds are almost more impressive than the house."

Lily shook her head slowly. "I could not live like this. It's too much." James made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, glancing away uncomfortably. Lily realized too late that of course he likely lived like this, too. "But maybe I would get used to it," she added unconvincingly. An awkward silence stretched between them, until Lily could stand it no longer. "So, what are we supposed to do at these things?"

The question startled a chuckle out of James. "The beautiful thing about parties, Evans, is that there are no rules you have to follow."

"Really?" Lily asked sardonically, waving at the room of inebriated teenagers around them. "Because it seems like the rule is 'act like an idiot.'" She smiled sweetly at James. "Now I see why you enjoy parties so much, Potter."

He folded his arms, pretending to look hurt. "Very cruel, Evans. See if I ever invite you along again."

"You know that I would happily stay home."

"You're right. In that case, then, your punishment shall be forced attendance at every party for the rest of the year."

Lily's mouth dropped open, and she poked James in the side indignantly. "What? That punishment does _not_ fit the crime."

"The rest of the term, then," James said, poking her back.

"Stop," Lily said, attempting to jab him again, but missing as James leaped back. When she tried once more, he caught her hand, effortlessly holding her at arm's length.

"You're very easy to hold off, Evans," he said with a wicked grin, merely capturing her other hand as she made a third attempt. She attempted to look disapprovingly up at him, fighting a smile all the same. "You're also very cute when you're pretending to be mad."

Lily's stomach swooped in a way that was becoming much too familiar. Frustrated by her traitorous feelings, she pulled away abruptly. "And you're maddening, always," she said curtly.

Thrown by her unexpected shift in mood, James took a step towards her. "Lily—" he started.

"Potter!" The yell came from the other side of the room, and Lily's blood went cold, immediately recognizing the voice.

Snape started towards them, and Lily knew from his glassy-eyed gaze that he was drunk. "Shit," she whispered. The other boy didn't stop until he was nearly chest to chest with James in a way that might have been comical, given that James was several inches taller, had Lily's heart not been pounding frantically.

"Stay away from her, all right?" Severus hissed through clenched teeth.

James let out a laugh, but Lily could hear the strain in it. "You can't seriously think you can just—"

It happened so fast James didn't have time to react. Snape's fist connected with the side of his head, the shock of it drawing a scream from Lily as James stumbled back into a small table, sending the ornamental plate atop it shattering to the floor.

Snape charged at James again, but Sirius and Remus materialized at his side, forcing Snape back. "Time for you to leave, Snivellus," Sirius said tersely, hooking an arm through Snape's as Remus took the other, dragging him across the floor. "I'm appalled anyone let you in to begin with—I've got to get better security."

Lily went to James, who had by this time regained his balance and was prodding gingerly at the skin above his right eyebrow, which had been cut by one of the pieces of broken glass. "Are you all right?"

He winced as he held the corner of his sleeve to his head to staunch the blood. "Not great, but I'll live."

Sirius and Remus returned, the latter looking grim and the former looking ready to punch something himself. "What the hell was that about?" Sirius growled. "Has that bastard finally lost it?"

"Sirius," Lily said before James could answer, "do one of those many bathrooms you mentioned have a first aid kit?"

He looked at her with bewilderment. "Doubt it."

"Rich people," Lily muttered impatiently. "Never mind, I'll handle it." Pulling James over to the table full of drinks, she swiped a bottle of alcohol at random and continued into the kitchen beyond, snatching a decorative towel from one of the drawer handles. Wetting it at the sink, she turned around, searching for a chair but finding none. Sighing, she hoisted herself onto the counter by the sink, gesturing James over to her. "It's so I can actually reach your head," she explained when James cocked his uninjured eyebrow at her odd behavior.

She cleaned away the blood with one edge of the damp towel before unscrewing the cap on the bottle beside her and carefully pouring a small amount onto the cloth.

"Do you know what you're doing?" James asked skeptically.

"My mum's a nurse," Lily said, but she paused with the towel halfway to James's forehead. "But no, I'm not sure if drinking alcohol is efficient in cleaning a cut. Better than nothing, probably."

"You're the boss," James said with a slight grin, which quickly turned to a wince as Lily brought the towel to his cut. "Certainly stings like rubbing alcohol, so that's got to be worth something."

"Sorry," said Lily, taking the towel away. "And I'm sorry for all of this." She glanced away, horrified that her voice had begun to quiver. "It was stupid to think he'd just back off without a fight. I hadn't expected that it would be a _literal_ fight, though, and I never would have asked you to—"

"Evans," James interrupted, placing a hand on her knee to draw her gaze back to him. "It's fine. It's not the first time someone's punched me, nor will it be the last, I imagine." He smirked. "It was an honor to take a punch for you."

Lily shook her head, but James had achieved what he wanted—she was smiling. As she met his eyes again, she realized this was probably the closest they'd been, physically, since starting their artificial relationship. The thought left her somehow unable to look away. She could feel the warm pressure of James's hand still on her leg; glancing down at it fleetingly, she looked up to find a very different expression on James's face, one that made her stomach clench in anticipation and her heart begin to race.

And then they were kissing. James slid his hand to her waist to pull her closer; Lily's legs wrapped around him, her hands grasping the back of his shirt desperately. Their kiss became more urgent, and as Lily felt James's hands slip beneath the hem of her shirt, she had the distant thought that they should stop, but the inclination was readily ignored in the face of how much she _wanted_ this.

"So _that's_ what you meant by 'handle it'," came Sirius's voice, causing Lily and James to break apart with an audible smack.

"We found a plaster," Remus added, seeming equally unfazed at finding Lily and James snogging heatedly. Which, considering he and Sirius knew about James and Lily's arrangement, only served to further complicate Lily's own feelings on the matter.

Still, she couldn't help muttering, "Probably not sufficient," as Remus stuck the plaster over James's cut.

"As you were," said Sirius with a salute to Lily and a wink at James.

Lily slid off the edge of the counter and followed the other boys out of the kitchen, her mind starting to catch up with the events of the past few minutes and the edges of panic beginning to take hold.

"Where are you going?" James asked.

"Home," she said succinctly.

"Okay, I'll come wi—"

"No. And I'm not ready to talk about … whatever that was in there."

James stopped, and when Lily turned back to him she could see his lips were pressed into a frustrated line. "Well, I'm not going to let you get murdered taking the tube this late."

"That's a bit dramatic."

"Just—will you just let me take you home?"

"Fine."

They spoke nothing further on the journey back, Lily sure that she would jump out of her skin with the tension and awkwardness that built with each passing moment.

"Good night," James said quietly when they reached Lily's building.

She sped through the door, only realizing much later that she'd said nothing in return.

Despite the sleep she lost that weekend obsessing over the kiss, Lily was woefully unprepared for what awaited her on Monday morning.

James wasn't in their usual meeting spot, which she told herself she was glad about, because it delayed the moment when she'd have to face him again. Just inside the door, a large group of students were gathered by one of the announcement boards, pointing and murmuring over one of the posters. As they spotted Lily, each fell instantly silent and drew back from the board. Frowning, Lily moved past them to see what the fuss was all about.

A picture was tacked over the announcement for the upcoming school play. It had been taken at a distance through a window, but despite the grainy quality, it clearly showed Lily and James locked in a passionate embrace, the hem of Lily's shirt riding up as James's hands explored beneath it. Above their heads, the word SLAG was written in dark block letters.

Heat bloomed in Lily's face. Ears ringing, she whirled around … and smacked straight into James.

"Lily," he started, staring over her head at the picture, eyes going wide and then narrowing in anger.

Pushing by him, Lily sped towards the door of the school and onto the grounds. She'd barely made it five yards before James's voice called out from behind her. "Evans!" Catching up, he took hold of her arm to stop her. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down."

"I can't talk about _any_ of this right now, Potter," she snapped, refusing to look at him.

He was quiet for a moment. "You've every right to be upset by that shit in there, but you can't just ignore what happened between us last night forever. I can't live with that."

By the time Lily turned, James was already halfway back to the school.

She didn't see him for the rest of the day. Thankfully, she didn't see Severus, either—she honestly couldn't say whether the sight of her former friend would have caused her to burst into tears or hit him. Marlene and Dorcas provided much-needed support throughout the day, glaring fiercely at anyone who dared to even look at Lily oddly. They also mercifully restrained themselves from asking after James; Lily wasn't ready to explain everything to them, either, particularly if she risked alienating herself for lying to her friends.

When the day was over, she was so relieved to have made it though she barely registered yet another gathering of gawking students, this time just outside the front doors to the school.

"Oh my god. Lily, look!" Marlene insisted, grabbing her shoulder.

"I just want to go home, Marlene. Just go home, crawl into bed, and never—"

"No, you want to see this, Lily," Dorcas said firmly.

Grudgingly, Lily obeyed. Pasted above the doors was a gigantic poster, filled with what appeared to be a picture of everyone in the school, including the teachers. Large, red, painted letters declared: _We are all dirty slags_.

A laugh burst from Lily before she could help it. "Wow. That's just … I'll catch up with you both later, yeah?"

Without waiting for a response from Marlene or Dorcas, Lily left, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu as she strode purposefully to the football pitch. Ignoring the protests from the other boys as she crossed onto the field, she made directly for James.

The corner of his mouth twitched when she stopped in front of him. "Are you lost, Evans?"

"Was that you?" she asked, pointing back towards the school.

James shrugged. "I don't know what you mean."

This was all Lily needed to confirm her suspicions. A happy, light feeling spread throughout her body as she realized that she had, as Sirius accused her back when it all began, been worrying too much. In truth it was quite simple, what she needed to say next. "I really like you, James Potter."

A true smile spread across his face. "I thought you might. It probably goes without saying, but I'm going to say it anyway: I really like you, too, Lily Evans." After a pause, in which they both grinned idiotically at each other, James asked, "Permission to break the no snogging rule?"

"Technically, we already have."

"All the more reason to continue to ignore it."

And that's exactly what they did.


End file.
